The Good Side of Loneliness

Loneliness for a better life…

What kind of person saying that ? A loner ? Who wants to be lonely ? And how come loneliness become important to life ? These all questions may emerge to our mind when we hear this statement. First of all, loneliness is not always only for loners who like being lonely and spend times doing loony things. Second of all, we need to start seeing everything in a positive way, even feelings that we have. Every feeling that we have is basically good, whether it’s sadness, anger, or loneliness. It’s just the matter of how we express in the right way, at the right time, in the right place, and to the right person. Now, back to loneliness. Feeling lonely doesn’t always mean that we’re alone. We can feel lonely even though there’re lots of people around us. It’s just our feelings, we don’t feel they’re into us, we feel we’re on our own, we feel others are away from us, we simply feel we have nobody. This can happen if we miss friends or relatives from far away or if we’re in the middle of the crowd whom we don’t actually know. On the other hand, alone doesn’t always make us feel lonely. When we’re aloe, we can just simply mind about others, believe they’re all there for us, know that we have them and therefore feel surrounded. Regarding the statement above, believe it or not, there are actually three ways that loneliness can make our lives better.

First, loneliness reminds us to appreciate friends and relatives. There’s an old saying that’s very popular that we all have heard it at least once, it says pretty much like this “Everything become more precious once it’s gone”. Loneliness helps us to prevent this from happening, prevent us to lose our love ones, friends and relatives. When we feel lonely, it’s usually because we feel we’re on our own, having no friends or relatives there for us. It doesn’t mean they’re gone already, it’s just that we don’t feel they’re around, maybe out, maybe away from us for some reason like working. Even this is enough to make us kind of lonely, especially when we don’t have things to do. However, this loneliness will make us think about how importance our friends and relatives are to cheer up our lives and to make us not feel lonely and how bad our lives will be if they’re really gone forever. Moreover, we can give more appreciation and love toward them when we still have them instead of see them as the ones not needed by us. Loneliness gives us a chance to learn and realize the importance of them and avoid from falling into a deep regret after losing them forever. It’s like it prevents us from saying in regret the old saying about.

Second, loneliness gives us time to think for ourselves. By being lonely, we can use some time to think about ways to solve problems, future, and steps we’re going to take. By being lonely, we can consider these issues carefully and deeply in our mind, including the risk of each option, and finally make the decision based on our conscience. It’s true that we can feel loneliness around a noisy crowd, but once we’ve felt lonely, we won’t mind what they’re talking because we simply feel it’s not for us. And therefore we can keep focus to our thoughts. However, when we’re around friends or relatives, we tend to unable to concentrate toward our thoughts or take decision that’s really based on our conscience. Because those around us will keep talking, giving suggestion, etc that makes us hard to concentrate. At that time we possibly take a decision because we’re only following our friends or relatives. This can end up bad. Because when that decision turns out to be disastrous, we will tend to blame others and therefore destroy our relationships. On the other hand, when we take decision based on our conscience, no matter how bad it will turn out, we have no one to blame because we make it on our own, we’d thought it deeply before, including the risk of each options. Therefore we won’t be surprised of the result. That’s just simply what we think to be the best. We often hear people say that they need sometime to think. Actually we can take loneliness time to be this time to think.

Third, loneliness makes us evaluate ourselves. In the two arguments above, loneliness is talked about as simply a condition of feeling while in the third, it’ll be talked about as a condition of being unwanted and left behind, the exact condition why we see loneliness in negative way. But even negative thing can be seen in positive way. A condition of being unwanted and left behind can make us start evaluating and introspecting ourselves. We will start thinking that the reason we’re unwanted and left behind is actually because of ourselves. Maybe we have some bad habits or bad characters that make others annoyed. And with loneliness also giving us time to think, just like at the second argument, we can consider deeply in our mind about how to solve this, whether we want to change it, keep it that way because we don’t think it’s something wrong, or other solutions. No matter what we decide at the end, it’s going to be based on our conscience that we won’t regret. If we decide to change it, we can renew our relationships with others and not become lonely anymore. If we decide to keep it that way, we might still be the unwanted and left behind, but we’ll already make peace with that and accept it fully as the risk of our decision, so that it’ll not bother us anymore.

So, next time we feel lonely, we’d better use the time to learn, think and evaluate instead of to be angry and piss because no one bothers us. Therefore we will make a better life in the term of relationship with others, making decision, and being a person with certain character.